Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep
by Caro June
Summary: Tony fears for Abby's life and is horrified to see his fears seemingly come true right in front of him. No pairings, one shot - complete.


**Disclaimer: I don't own or make any money off of anything related to NCIS.**

**A/N: **_This is not a death fic. Repeat – not a death fic. But it's gonna seem like that for a bit. I hope you enjoy this little story – just an idea for a one shot that came to me the other night when I couldn't rest._

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep**

NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo lay dying. This time there was no second chance. No one was going to rescue him. The bullets that had hit his chest were true, the aim accurate. This time there was no bullet proof vest. He knew he had only a few minutes of life left. To his amazement, he felt little sadness, only a sense that things were incomplete, that somehow this was wrong, and that he had failed miserably.

As his life blood drained out of him, he watched while those closest to him seemed to appear in front of him. His father was there for only a brief few seconds, and even at the moment of death, he managed to look disapproving. As if Tony couldn't even die in a way that suited him. Tony spared him no further thought.

Agent Timothy McGee came next, squatting briefly beside him. "So sorry, Tony, I wish it was different," was all he said, before turning sadly away. Vance showed up then, stood over him and asked "What went wrong, Agent DiNozzo?" but left before Tony could respond. Ducky and Jimmy walked up after Vance, and stopped only briefly. Ducky smiled at him and said, "This is all very fascinating, Anthony. But terribly sad. We'll certainly miss you, my boy." With a cheerless little wave, he guided Jimmy away, launching into one of his stories. Jimmy looked over his shoulder at Tony, waved his fingers and mouthed "Goodbye, Tony," before turning back toward the doctor.

Ziva was next, kneeling beside him. She reached for his hand, and held it to her cheek. "We didn't have enough time Tony, it's not fair." Then shaking her head, she stood and smiled down at him. "I'll tell Abby goodbye for you." After she disappeared, Tony felt cold, and confused. How could Ziva tell Abby goodbye?

Suddenly he was very, very alone. And scared. "_Huh_," he thought to himself. _"DiNozzo's aren't supposed to get scared_." He wished Abby could come and see him but knew that wasn't possible.

Tony looked around then, one last time, missing someone else. His eyesight seemed to be going, but he squinted, looking for the one person he knew he needed to see before he could actually leave. "Gibbs," he whispered. "Where are you?"

Just as the light was fading from his eyes, he felt a light head slap, and snapped them open, one more time. "Didn't think I'd let you go like that, did you DiNozzo?" Gibbs sat right down beside him, and took his hand. "What the hell happened?" Tony smiled at him; he understood that Gibbs didn't really want an answer. They all knew what had happened. "I'm gonna' miss you most boss."

Tony looked at the man who was his mentor, his boss, his friend, his closest family, one more time. "Take care of yourself, Gibbs." And his eyes closed for the final time.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Tony sat up in bed, heart pounding, and sweat pouring off his forehead. "Damn," he murmured to himself, running his hand through his untidy hair. "I hate that dream."

Knowing any more sleep was out of the question, even though it was only 0330 in the morning, Tony got out of bed. Starting the coffee, he jumped in the shower while it was brewing. Letting the hot water run over his body, he began to wonder if he needed to talk to someone. He was getting less and less sleep, and was starting to question if he was as sharp as he needed to be at his job. Snorting, he shook his head, rinsed off and got out of the shower. As he toweled off, he gave up the idea of talking to anyone about his dreams. He had started seeing a counselor a few months back; a guy for once. And they'd hit it off; Tony had even begun to open up a little. Then the guy had gotten a promotion, and left the area. His replacement was a woman who was nosy and just plain mean. Tony had seen her twice, and then given up.

The dreams had started a little over 5 months ago. Right after a particularly harrowing case. Tony had no idea why; he'd been involved in terrible cases before. Why this one was different and should affect him so much, if that was indeed what was behind the dreams, was beyond him.

Deciding to do what he always did, ignore it, and go into the office, Tony smiled briefly, a sad, tight smile. "_At least Gibbs can't complain I'm not getting my reports finished on time."_

The day wore on, with another new case, and the usual amount of investigation, finally wrapping up after several late nights. When he returned home after all the reports had been submitted, Tony hoped he might be so tired that he'd fall asleep quickly and sleep all night, without dreaming. But though he drifted off fast enough, the dream started, and he couldn't shake himself out of it. Part of him knew it was a dream, but part of him was terrified, regardless.

He was in an alley, alone, always alone. And though he knew what was coming, he couldn't stop it. He heard a noise, like a twig snapping. Telling himself not to turn around, he was nevertheless unsurprised when he felt his body turning toward the sound. And the same sight greeted him that always did.

A mysterious figure would loom out of the darkness. Tony would start to raise his gun arm, intent on defending himself. But at the last second, Abby was suddenly in front of him, hands raised in terror. "Don't shoot me, Tony!" she would cry out. And Tony would lower his gun, and make a desperate lunge for her, trying to knock her out of harm's way. But he knew he'd be too late, just as he always was.

Abby would fall, looking at him with those incredible eyes. "I thought this time you'd save me, Tony," would be her last words. And Tony, knowing he didn't deserve to live anyway, would stand up, enraged, and face their attacker. He knew he had to kill the man, but before he could, the bullets would slam into his chest and he would fall. The worst part was knowing he'd failed Abby. Knowing the others would never be able to forgive him. Knowing he should have somehow been able to save her.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Once more Tony DiNozzo sat up in bed, wrung out, heart pounding and the blood rushing to his head. "Shit." He got up and got a drink of water, then went into the living room and turned on an old movie. Eventually, he drifted off again, with the soft sounds of Jimmy Stewart in "Rear Window" playing in the background.

The next morning, he was surprised to wake up an hour late. Looking at the clock, he moaned. "No, why today?" He jumped up off the couch, and quickly grabbed his clothes out of the bedroom. His shower took less than five minutes, and 10 minutes later he was out the door. Driving way too fast, he managed to arrive at the bullpen only 15 minutes late.

Gibbs looked up as he entered. "Out partying last night DiNozzo? You look like hell." Before giving him a chance to respond, he called out. "Grab your gear. Missing marine." And he tossed the keys at Tony, missing the look on the younger man's face as he turned toward Agent McGee. "McGee, I want you to stay here, gather everything you can on our missing Lieutenant. Send it on your phone thingy to Abby. She's coming with us today."

At Tony's look of shock, Gibbs slapped him lightly on the back of the head. "Come on DiNozzo, get the car. Abs is waiting."

Without thinking, Tony automatically responded. "On it boss," and grabbing his backpack, he headed for the stairs. Ziva followed him. "Tony. Is everything all right? You look shivered up."

"Shook up, Ziva, and yeah, its fine. Why is Abby coming with us?" Tony took the stairs two at a time, intent on getting to the car before Gibbs got off the elevator. "She has requested some time in the field, says it will make her sharper. I think it will be fun to have Abby join us."

"Yeah, sure, fun," Tony responded, and then tried to put it out of his mind as they reached the garage. Seeing Abby standing there all eager and hopeful, he didn't have the heart to discourage her. "_It's only a dream, it doesn't mean a thing_," he told himself as he drove the car up. Abby jumped in the front seat, squealing "Shot gun!" and flashing her beautiful smile at Gibbs, who just shook his head and got in the back with Ziva. "Drive, DiNozzo."

They arrived at the house of the missing marine, one Commander Skip Bangs. Gibbs assigned Ziva to interview his distraught wife.

"DiNozzo, you and Scuito scout around. Check with the neighbors; look outside, in the alleys. Anywhere you might find something." Abby stood very straight and clicked her heels together. "Yes Sir, Very Special Agent Jethro Gibbs, Sir. DiNozzo and Scuito, reporting to the outside, Sir!"

While Tony led a very excited Abby back out the front door, Gibbs began searching the marine's room. Tony shook his head and

concentrated on what Abby was saying. "Tony, let's go to the alley first. I always wanted to find a body. Maybe he's there."

Tony hauled the enthusiastic gothic scientist back. "Whoa, Abby. No alleys for you, at least not yet." At her questioning look, he grinned down at her. "We have to do the boring stuff before the fun stuff. That's how it works out here in the field, Abs." Soon they were checking all around the house, looking for footprints or any other evidence. When they found nothing, Tony nodded to Abby. "Ok, now Abby, we're going to talk to the neighbors. But!" and he held a stern finger up in front of her face. "I'm doing the talking. You get to listen." As she opened her mouth to protest, Tony just took her firmly by the arm. "No arguing, Probie. You do it my way or not at all." Abby gave in, and then playfully punched him lightly on the arm. "Ooo, look who's getting all bossy and professional." But she followed along quietly, listening as Tony skillfully talked to the neighbors, drawing out bits of information that she had to admit, she would never have thought of.

Finally, after they had talked to everyone in the immediate area who was home, they all re-grouped near their vehicles, just outside of the marine's house. "Anything DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked. Abby jumped up and down, raising her hand. "Me, Gibbs. Me, me. I've got something." Gibbs sighed, a long suffering sigh that plainly indicated he was regretting his decision to let Abby participate in their field investigation.

"Abby?" he asked, his tone showing his frame of mind. "I think we should have a stake out. Tony and I, or maybe Ziva and I should set up across the street in, in an abandoned warehouse, and watch all night for suspicious activity."

All eyes turned to look across the street. Ziva was the one to express what they were all thinking. "Abby? There is no abandoned warehouse across the street, or anywhere around here. This is a neighborhood, with houses and schools. No warehouses." Abby looked around; then appeared crestfallen. "Oh. Well, okay then, I guess I don't have anything."

Tony put his arm around her and pulled her close to him. "It's okay, Abs. I don't think any of us do. Boss, no one knew anything. They all said the same thing, quiet couple, keeps to themselves, not many visitors. Nothing out of the ordinary."

Gibbs ran his hand over his hair. "Okay, well let's get back to the office. Ziva, you and Tony can check phone records. Abby, since there isn't any physical evidence to process, you can help McGee dig through all of their financial records."

"What are you going to do Boss?" Tony asked, as he opened the car door and slid behind the wheel. "I'm going to pay a call to his commanding officer."

The afternoon wore on, with no new leads. Finally, Gibbs called a halt at 1900 hours. "Go home everyone. Get some sleep. We'll try again tomorrow with fresh eyes."

Tony had no desire to go back to his apartment and try to sleep. He knew that after spending the day working so closely with Abby, he would be dreaming all night. So he asked her to go get pizza with him instead, and then kept her up late, talking about anything she wanted to, just to keep from going home. After dropping her off at about 0100, he returned to his own place. Deciding that sleep was an unnecessary luxury, he showered, changed clothes and went into the office, where he continued trying to run down leads, finally falling asleep at his desk.

A light head slap woke him. He sat straight up, and looked up at Gibbs. "Sleeping here now, DiNozzo? Something bothering you?" Tony was surprised to find a coffee, complete with his favorite Hazelnut flavoring in front of him. "Ah, no boss, just decided to come in early and try to run a few leads down." He took a sip, appreciating the aroma of the coffee. "Didn't find much. This guy seems to have just disappeared into thin air. I can't find a connection between him and anything even remotely dangerous or illegal." Tony shifted a few pieces of paper around, before holding up the missing marine's high school grades. "I checked as far back as high school, and the only thing I found is that he's a twin. But his brother died about four years ago." His voice trailed off in a huge yawn.

Gibbs pulled a few more files from the stack on Tony's desk and took them to his own to desk. Tony rummaged around in a desk drawer and produced a toothbrush and some toothpaste. Hitting the men's room, he got ready for the day and managed to be at his desk looking refreshed when Ziva and Tim walked in.

After spending another fruitless day, they were about ready to give up, when the LEOs called in a tip right at 1700. There was a report of a body located about 3 miles away, in an alley, matching the description of their missing man. Gibbs had just told Tony to get the car, when Abby rushed into the bullpen, with her coat on and all excited. As Tony watched through the elevator doors, he prayed that Gibbs would keep Abby from going with them.

So he was more than a little dismayed when he pulled the car up, and Abby jumped in the front seat with him. This time McGee, Ziva and Gibbs all squeezed into the back. Tony would have laughed at the sight of the usually unruffled Gibbs trying to figure out where to put his arms in the close quarters of the rear seat, had not Abby turned to him just then. "Tony, it's going to happen today, I just know it is. I'm finally going to find a body."

Tony rolled his eyes and glanced in the rear view mirror, hoping to catch his bosses' gaze. But Gibbs was busy giving instructions to McGee, and listening as Ziva called Ducky on her cell phone and coordinated their arrival. So when they got there, Tony was left to jump out of the car and hold back an excited Abby. "Abs, wait. We can't go running off without backup."

Gibbs couldn't restrain a smile at the sight of his forensic scientist pushing a reluctant Agent DiNozzo in front of her, trying to get to the alley first. But he took pity on Tony and ordered Abby to wait at the car with Tim; giving her firm instructions she was not to attempt to follow them. "When Ducky gets here, McGee, escort him in, but don't approach too closely until we give the all clear."

With that, Gibbs, David and DiNozzo headed into the darkening alley. Tony had a very weird sense of déjà vu, noting how much the location resembled his nightmares. Shaking his head, he tried to force the images out of his mind. Guns drawn, they advanced, nodding to the policeman who was guarding the entrance. "He's back there," the officer directed them with a nod of his head.

Tony led the way, and soon came upon the dead man. Shining his light on the man's face, he nodded at Gibbs. "It looks like Major Bangs, all right." Holstering his weapon, he placed two fingers on the man's neck and shook his head.

"Stay with the body, Tony, until Ducky gets here. Ziva, with me." Gibbs and Ziva began scouting around, as Tony took out his cell phone and called McGee. "It's him, Tim. Bring Ducky in when you get here. Tell Abby to stay there with Jimmy until I come for her, make her understand, you got that McGee?" Tony's voice brooked no argument. He still couldn't shake the feeling that something was just "hinky" about the place. Smiling a little at using one of Abby's favorite terms, he kept a careful eye out until Gibbs and Ziva returned.

"Nothing." Gibbs shook his head. "Ducky on his way?" Tony nodded and Gibbs sent Ziva in to meet the M.E.

After Ducky arrived and the scene was secure, Tony went back to the cars and finally allowed Abby to come and watch. But before he would let her anywhere near the alley, he insisted she don his bullet proof vest. Instead of protesting, she jumped up and down. "Oh Tony, this is so totally cool." Turning around and around, she spread her arms for him. "Well? Do I look all official and secret agent-like?" Tony assured her she did, and then walked her back to the crime scene.

Abby was fascinated by it all, until she watched Ducky check for a liver temperature and respond to Gibb's terse question of, "Time of Death?" Then she suddenly ducked her head, and backed away. She took Tony's arm and told him she was ready to leave. Getting a nod from Gibbs, Tony hugged her briefly, and escorted her back the way they had come.

He was finally beginning to relax, and realize that so far this wasn't happening anything like his dream. Of course, that was exactly when everything changed and all hell broke loose.

He had just gotten Abby into the car, when he heard shouting coming from a distance away, followed by a series of muffled gunshots. Instructing Abby to stay in the car and lock the doors, he sprinted toward the sounds, calling Gibbs on his cell as he went. Reporting the situation, he said he would investigate, but wait for backup before trying to approach any subjects.

Tony ran toward the continued sounds of the fight, or whatever it was he could still hear. Rounding a corner, he came to an abrupt halt. Fifty feet ahead, he could see a man down, but it had suddenly gotten very quiet. Advancing carefully, he kept his weapon out, pointed ahead and slightly down. Hearing what he thought was Gibbs right behind him; he proceeded toward the man who was lying quiet and still on the concrete, up against a brick wall. Just as Tony leaned over to check his heart rate, he heard a sound that had his own heart threatening to jump out of his chest.

"Tony?" to his horror, Abby was standing only a few feet away, looking scared to death and pointing behind him. Tony jumped up, spun around and saw a man, who seemingly had appeared out of nowhere. He looked exactly like their missing marine, and Tony's baffled mind couldn't quite grasp how he could be there, at the same time he was lying dead a few streets over.

But all those thoughts fled when he saw his dream start to play out in startlingly reality. The man raised his weapon and pointed it at them. Tony cried out, "No!" and whirled toward Abby, determined that this time, the outcome would be different.

Things seemed to take place in slow motion. Tony knew he wasn't going to be in time as he heard the gunshot, and felt a bullet whiz past his ear. Just as he reached her and gave her a sharp shove, he saw Abby lifted off her feet and slammed into the wall behind her. In fear and anger he cried her name, "Abby!" even as he turned around to face their attacker. Lifting his own weapon, he moved to shield Abby's body from any more damage and fired several times at the figure in front of him. But he knew he was too late.

Tony heart the report of the assailant's gun and felt two shots enter his chest, just as he saw his own bullets strike the man. Time seemed to stand still, as the man fell over in a heap. The adrenalin he was feeling kept Tony on his feet. After making sure the man wasn't going to rise, Tony fell to his knees beside his friend. "Abby," he whispered, tenderly patting her face. "Abby, talk to me. You have to be okay."

The blood started to rush through his head, and he could hear Gibbs and Ziva shouting from a distance, even as his cell phone, which he had dropped, began to ring. Tony knew he was fading, and as he began to slump over, he called Abby's name one more time.

Finally, he was rewarded with her eyes blinking open. Though groggy from the hit her head had taken when she had impacted the wall behind her, she gazed up at him. "Tony, what happened?" Those were the sweetest words Tony had ever heard. He smiled, and tenderly patted her cheek one more time. "It's okay, Abs, it's all going to be okay now."

Gibbs arrived just in time to see his senior field agent collapse in a bloody heap next to Abby. Rushing over, he instructed Ziva to call 911, and told Tim to secure the scene. Kneeling beside Tony he placed a trembling hand alongside his neck, praying he would feel a pulse.

Abby burst into tears and fearfully whispered, "Gibbs? Is he, he's not dead is he? He can't be, oh Tony, please, please be all right. It's all my fault."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The next thing Tony was aware of was the sound of an ambulance and Abby's quiet sobbing. He felt himself being pulled backwards, and to his amazement, felt Gibbs cradling him against his chest. And though he was aware of pain blazing through his upper body, he couldn't keep a silly grin off his face. "I saved her this time, Gibbs. I saved her."

Gibbs nodded for McGee to continue applying pressure to Tony's wounds. Even as Tony grunted with the pain, Gibbs shook his head and asked, "What the hell are you talking about, Tony?"

Tony just smiled again and let his eyes close. He suddenly found it too much work to keep them open. In fact, just breathing was rapidly becoming more and more impossible. As everything grew fainter, he seemed to hear another voice in his head. To his amazement, it sounded like his mother, but that made no sense. She'd been dead since he was just a little boy. As his awareness faded, he could hear her voice growing stronger. He didn't know whether to be alarmed or not when he gradually recognized the words she was saying. It was the prayer she had repeated with him, before tucking him into bed, when he was very small.

As the ambulance sirens grew closer, Tony shut out everything but the sound of his mother's sweet voice. He even found himself repeating the words with her, and he wondered what it meant.

"_Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. And if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take."_ To Tony, the words were comforting and familiar and he longed to give himself up to them. But just as he could hear his mother's voice growing stronger and he started repeating the words again, he was suddenly yanked back into the real world, with Abby's piercing scream ringing in his head.

"Noooo!"

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The next thing Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo was aware of was lying in a clean bed. It smelled suspiciously like a hospital, the faint antiseptic odor giving it away. Without opening his eyes, he listened for moment. He first identified the beeps and whirrs of various machines, and gradually he became aware that his chest hurt, a lot. He didn't mean to moan, but the small sound escaped in spite of his efforts to hold it back.

And that was when he knew everything was going to be okay. "Tony!" One very excited gothic forensic scientist's voice broke over him. He cracked his eye open just a tiny bit, and managed to bring her face into focus. His own voice was a mere whisper, but he forced himself to say her name. "Abs?" A cough followed and he grimaced with the fire that suddenly lit up inside of him. Waving her away, he shook his head when she offered him water. As soon as the cough subsided and he could breathe again, he opened both eyes. "Abs," he murmured again. "You're really okay."

Abby's face first lit up with a beautiful smile and Tony managed a small smile in return. He understood when her smile abruptly gave way to tears, though he was a little surprised when the tears were followed by a smack to his arm.

"Ouch," he managed to gasp out. "What was that for?" This time his eyes opened wide and he glared at her. "For scaring me half to death." Then Abby lay her head down on his shoulder and hugged him carefully. "But I forgive you, this time. Just don't ever do that to me again."

Tony cautiously hugged her back. "I won't Abs, as long as you stay out of my dreams, okay?"

Gibbs chose that moment walk into the room. He couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face. "If you'd watch what you drink before you go to bed, DiNozzo, you wouldn't have that problem."

Crossing the room, he leaned down and gently tapped Tony on the top of his head. "Welcome back, son. Welcome back."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Days later, when Tony was finally discharged from the hospital, he learned what had happened. It turned out the man who was missing had been killed by his twin brother, who had faked his own death for insurance money. When Major Skip Bangs had somehow discovered the ruse he had tracked his brother down, and had been killed by him. The brother, Ty Bangs had almost gotten away when Tony had heard the commotion.

Tony asked what had happened, and Gibbs shook his head. "Looks like Ty's luck just ran out. He had just killed Major Bangs, and was running away, when he got jumped by a couple of thugs. You heard the fight that broke out, that's what got you into that alley in the first place."

Tony smiled, easing his way into the car that would take him to Gibbs house to finish his recovery. "Well, I can tell you this much. I'll sleep a lot easier tonight now that this is over. No more dreams for me, Gibbs. No more."

Gibbs slammed the door and reached across Tony to fasten his seat belt, since DiNozzo was under strict instructions not to move his arm. "No? Well how about a pizza at least?"

"I can handle that Gibbs, I can handle that."

**The End**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

_I hope you enjoyed this little story. I've just been working at this off and on when I had a spare moment. I'm not real sure I'm completely happy with it but I'm running out of time, due to events in my personal life and I wanted to get it posted now. _

_**Here is a brief update:**__ My husband is scheduled for open heart surgery next week. I am hoping and praying all goes well. And as I'm waiting with him in the hospital while he recovers, if I need the distraction, I may write another story. I have an idea for a follow up to the season opener, although I haven't tried to write a tag to an episode before. But there is something about it that just demands a story. Still working on a title, but I have the basic outline in my head. Let me know if there is interest in anything like that._

_Meanwhile, thanks for reading and God bless you all._

_caro june_


End file.
